I've had some interesting feedback from some of the men who've been reading my novels. They tell me they've really enjoyed reading my sex scenes. Apparently I have a talent I didn't know I had. To quote George Takei, "Oh, my!"
Well, I confess. I've done some research on how to write effective "love" scenes, and I'm happy explain the techniques I use.
I start by taking my time to build the sexual tension between my characters, and the build up happens slowly. Arousal starts innocently, with hands accidentally brushing, or touching a forearm. The man may find the lady's dress sexy. Sometimes horseplay turns into foreplay.
Some body parts are never mentioned by name. I'm writing romance, not a medical textbook. My goal is to describe what the characters are feeling. I'll refer to it with words like, "she felt a sweet sensation." We all know what happens during "the act." My editor came up with a wonderful way to refer to it--"reaching his (or her) release," and I'll often use the words, "climax," "ecstasy" or, "the two briefly became one," when describing the euphoria the characters are experiencing.
I don't use much dialogue during my love scenes. Two people who love each other, and are making love for the first time, probably won't be in the mood for chatting, and too much dialogue would interrupt the flow of the story. I save the dialog for the pillow talk scene in the next chapter. One thing I will do, however, try to instill a sense of responsibility in my characters. Oftentimes the lady will be asked if she's using birth control, or the man will stop to apply a condom.
And, finally, I only use sex scenes to enhance the plot, and I use them sparingly. There are usually no more than two or three such scenes throughout my entire novel. My stories are about people and their relationships, and there's a whole lot more to a relationship than just having sex.